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As If Tide Pods Weren't Bad Enough

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November 16, 2018
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Look. this is why we're voting for Giant Meteor/Super Volcano in 2020. In order to get high, kids aren't smoking weed, or doing a bump of coke, hell even meth won't do it for these kids. Nope. Instead, they are drinking boiled sanitary pad water. Yeah. You read that right and having just typed that, we vomited all over our workspace. How in the ever living mother f***ing world did someone get the bright idea to boil pads and then drink the water? Thankfully this is not catching on in the United States just yet, but in Southeast Asia, it is the new fad and totally and completely legal. Also, for some reason, somehow it gets you high. Could we get like...f*** we don't know. Look we get it with plants, people have been smoking plants or grinding them up for "medicinal" purposes for hundreds and hundreds of years. However a used tampon or pad...like just why?At this point with our kids here in the United States, we're kind of glad they stuck with just Tide Pods, because honestly who goes looking for used feminine hygiene products in order to get high? We're at such a loss for words, we're not even sure we can finish this article, what's the next anti-drug campaign going to look like with this shit gaining popularity?"Ladies, be sure and destroy your pads so kids don't use them to get high" (obvious sarcasm is obvious...hopefully)"Just say no to feminine hygiene product boiled water drinking!" That really doesn't have the same ring to it as "Just Say No To Drugs!"The reason they do this though is pretty self-explanatory, drugs are illegal and carry harsh sentences in Southeast Asia, pads are not illegal and there is an (oh god I can't believe we're going to say this sigh) abundant supply.Can't kids just play outside and get into fights like the old days? F***, people are weird.

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