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Basic Training Story 4136

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August 5, 2016
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I went to basic back in 03 with the strangest damn group of guys ever thrown together. Straight off the damn bus and into the grass to lay out all of our gear and I m already seeing problems with some of these f*cks, especially this one special snowflake. We'll call him Pvt V. Pvt V can t even manage to get into a damn circle with his arms stretched out. He keeps facing the guy next to him instead of the DS in the middle and they are starting to tee off on everyone for it. He was our very own Pvt Pyle.As you can imagine none of us particularly cared for him and that feeling got worse daily. Now Pvt V was also that lying sh*tbag who always had a story way cooler than anything else about what he did before he joined. My favorite one was that he claimed he did all the books for a huge drug dealer back home and got paid with stacks of cash and free women to keep quiet. The thing is Pvt V was all of 110lbs soaking wet whiter than f*cking coffee creamer and looked like the damn Vulture that used to fly around in the Bugs Bunny cartoons. If any of you have ever seen the movie Powder that s THIS FREAKING GUY.


So towards the end of basic we get called to ready line and our DS hands out mail and then walks out with a huge care package from my parents. My heart immediately sinks He starts handing out Rice Krispy treats to everyone and then says you will have 5 seconds to eat everything in your hands. At the end of 5 seconds whatever is left will get passed to the man on your right. EAT!Everyone starts ripping open packaging and shoving their mouth full except for one guy on the other side of the hall, Pvt S we'll call him, is simply standing there licking every inch of the Rice Krispy treat. 5 seconds is up DS walks over with a puzzled and pissed off look on his face. Pvt S does't say a word, just smiles and slowly stretches his arm to the right putting this licked up nasty *ss Rice Krispy treat right in front of Pvt V s face.To this day I don t know how all of us kept it together and didn t fall out laughing our *ss off Even our damn DS flinched with a smile and shook his head a bit. He knew it was f*cked up but he damn sure couldn t go back on his own words. Greatest moment of basic for me.

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