Basic Training Story 4596

It was one of those Red Phase trial PT tests, where everyone was still a little fat in the ass and not passing. As we stood in line for evening chow in the DFAC, DS "B" was standing in place reading each privates results.DS "B" was this skinny, angry, east coast Puerto Rican with a gold tooth. More on him later.Anyhow, he looks at me, and says, "Private "G": <whatever my non-passing score was>"I say some sh*t in parade rest like, "Yes, Drill Sergeant! I will endeavour to try harder!"He just gives me a weird look but lets be go about my way. My battle buddy leans in and says, "How's that Brown Eye taste?"

Now I've heard a lot of terms, Balloon Knot, Chocolate Starfish, Hairy Donut, but I frown in confusion because I had never heard that one. So I turn and whisper, "What's a Brown Eye?"I never got an answer, because DS "S" saw our lips moving from where he was seated. We were talking. We were talking in the chow line during Red Phase.He shoots out of his chair and comes stomping over, "What f*ck are two talking about?"Parade rest, "Nothing Drill Sergeant!" I say.I'm f*cked, because that was a lie. I knew he was going to press me, and I panicked. So, out it came, "Drill Sergeant. Private "H" just now asked me how DS "B"s Brown Eye tasted. I asked him what a Brown Eye was!"Smoked for days.Oh, back to DS "B", he once also caught me singing the Soul Glow song from Coming to America. Every now and again he would have me sing it in front of the platoon and laugh his evil ass off.