Basic Training Story 4714

Basic training summer 2013. Compared to some of the horror stories I've heard before and since then, I'd say we didn't have it too badly. The suck was still there full swing but thankfully we didn't have any idiots sans two; who both happened to be in my platoon sadly.The first dumbass we'll call Pvt. D. This kid was a piece of work; he only joined to look cool and was a spoiled little shit from the Jersey Shore part of New Jersey. He had even come to basic with a gold chain. He was a brown-noser when the DSs were around but shot off his mouth any chance he got when they were away.Fast forward to about week 6 where you do the buddy bounding live fire exercise. I didn't trust the idiot and you'll see why here in a moment. I had just gotten done with my lane and Pvt D and his partner was behind me. I decided to stay and watch.They did good on the first two (out of five) bounds them his partner bounded first on the third. As Pvt D ran forward, he tripped and threw his arms out wide losing control, a LIVE round popped off and missed his partner by a few inches. As the weapon discharged he threw it into the mud to use that hand to save himself.The last clear thing I heard was "DID YOUR FUCKING MOTHER THROW YOU LIKE THAT WHEN YOU WERE BORN? SHE FUCKING MUST HAVE BECAUSE ONLY A COMPLETE FUCK-UP OF A BITCH THROWS HIS WEAPON LIKE THAT!!"Needless to say, Pvt D was the victim of a DS swarm. I think I only saw one or two not in that little cluster.Now our second fuck up managed to do this a mere 2 weeks from graduation. Due to severe weather, our training got speed up a few times so we were in the home stretch. Nothing to do but clean gear and avoid the line of sight of the 2 or 3 DSs that were there to keep half an eye on us. No way to fuck it up unless you were really stupid right?Well, we come to Pvt B. She decided that she was close enough to graduation to say "Fuck it. I graduated already."As we're going through the line for breakfast chow after PT, I hear "What the fucking hell private? Look at me" just a few feet from me. Not knowing it wasn't me the female DS was talking to, I look up to see her staring right into the eyes of Pvt B. "What the hell is on your eyes?! Is that mascara and eye liner?""No, it's permanent marker," No "Drill Sgt" before or after either.This happened to be the day that all the Drills had shown up for breakfast too so all the female Drills jumped all over her. They went through the expected "I know you're not be trying to sleep with any of the other Pvts bc they don't want you so you must be trying to impress our battles." This went on for a few minutes before they stopped waiting for an answer finally.By now the whole chow hall is deathly quiet, part to listen in and part to avoid drawing attention to them. Just loud enough to be heard by everyone "I'm a lesbian, DS."Then the male Drills attacked. By the time they were done, PVT B is crying into her tray of food she still has in her hands, the next company has filed in and is wondering WTF is going on, and my company has just enjoyed the longest meal we've had.Read more Basic Training Stories here.