Basic Training Story 4720

‘Twas winter most harsh, February 23rd in the Year of Our Lord Seventeen Hundred Seventy-Eight. Disease and starvation were not enough, and now we were made to suffer the presence of European nobility, a Baron von S. That dandy, as we learned, was discharged from his own military under means most mysterious. Now he held sway over the Continental Army.To make matters worse, he spoke not a word of English. He made a captain swear at us in English for him! If only us Patriots had such privileges.After hours of musket drills, we were all thoroughly exhausted. Private H. managed to procure some whiskey, and we consumed it all, and out of sight of the officers. The loosened morals led to Private Love to consummate his affections with a possum. The wretched creature lay there paralyzed in terror, but Private L. grew increasingly boisterous. Naturally, this caught the attention of Baron von S.We stood in formation, just as we’d been drilled to do to the point of exhaustion. The Holy Bible made an appearance, and Baron von S. quoted from its pages with abandon. We were all guilty, but Private L. most of all. He had committed a great sin against God and Nature. We were made to tie him to a post, wrapped a blind fold around his eyes, then lined up once again.We were handed our muskets and ordered to execute him. We reluctantly performed our duty. The muskets fired in unison, but their anger was tempered. Through the clearing smoke, Private L. survived. At first, we thought it divine providence, but Baron von S. had ensured our muskets were not loaded with live rounds.We never violated the rules thereafter.Read more Basic Training Stories here.