Overcoming Obstacles: A Basic Training Tale

It was about 3 weeks into basic when we get called down to the CTA for an emergency formation. DS S is frantically trying to create something out of cardboard. In the mean time we're getting a brief on cellphone use and the consequences if one is found.Apparently, a PVT had been housing one in his dirty laundry bag, inside rolled socks. How they missed this I will never know. They even searched our flashlight battery cases. At any rate, the DS yells out, "hey PVT Y, we may have found your cellphone, but we're hookin' you up with a replacement. We got your back!"DS S walks up with a 1 ft by 2 ft cardboard cellphone replica. He hands it to PVT Y and informs the entire company that "Mr Y will be answering his cellphone to anyone who calls him with the intro, 'this is PVT dumbass. They found my phone. How can I help you?"He had to take that thing taped to his rucksack on our marches and even ran with it during PT. The first DS "phone call" had everyone rolling. Yeah. We were "pushing Carolina into the ground" but it was the funniest shit. Made for a great scene every time he got a call from a DS!