Spring Break Escapes: Top Destinations

With so many Spring Break destinations to choose from it's hard to pick out the best one, so we're just going to say they're all equally great depending on your mood, geographic location, and age.South Padre Island! Everything is bigger in Texas, and that includes the Spring Break celebration on South Padre Island. Whatever your idea of a good Spring Break is, you can probably find it along this Gulf Coast hotspot attracting folks from colleges like the University of Texas at Austin, Texas A&M University, Texas Tech University...there is no shortage of space or beautiful women along the Texas coast!

Panama Beach, Florida! World famous for good reason. The party on Panama Beach is hot hot hot and for good reason, the water is beautiful and folks from the entire East Coast come down to the party here for their Spring Break. With a rich southern charm stemming from all the southern belles and southern gentlemen, Panama Beach probably the most famous out of all Spring Break destinations!

Lake Havasu, Arizona! Everyone grab your boats and tie em to each other! Lake Havasu has the biggest party literally ON the water of any Spring Break destination. With boats of all shapes and sizes coming together to form a spring break community of debauchery and high alcohol consumption, Arizona surprisingly tops the list with this "not so secret" secret get away.

Cancun, Mexico! For our intrepid international spring breakers, Cancun is the number one tourist destination abroad for spring break. Don't worry, this part of Mexico isn't on any travel advisory, although we'd still suggest not being total morons and venturing out at night beyond the confines of the resort. It is still a foreign country and you are probably really drunk.

Our couch! Our couch is here because well, sand gets everywhere and fighting a bunch of drunk dudes and their frat brothers doesn't seem that entertaining anymore at our age. Certainly, we'd beat them down and then the cops come and ask how two dudes beat up 14 frat boys and then we have to explain how we're veterans and we just like to fight. Then our buddy has to come bail us out of jail after he sobers up. It's just a big hot mess and we're going to avoid that by inviting a few great friends over to our place to drink Merica Bourbon and play horseshoes or cornhole or whatever. Just as long as we don't have to deal with Karen puking on our brand new flip flops again after two drinks. F***ing Karen.

Mogadishu, Somalia! Guys, hear us out on this. As long as you're armed and there's like a couple thousand of you, you should be fine. A few of us did Spring Break in Iraq and Afghanistan, it was great, we waterboard...snowboarded the mountains of Afghanistan and participated in several gunfig...watergun fights with the locals. Mogadishu is this years place to be for spring break. You can probably even get your own pirate ship if you're brave enough!