I am a Member of the Canadian Armed forces. I am a combat engineer. All Engineers in the CAF(Canadian Armed forces) do their trades qualifications or known as ql3 in Gagetown Newbrunswick. Originally I joined as a reservist and did my ql3 as a reservist. For this we sleep in mod tents and on cots for 4 months.On our course we only have three staff. The course officer, course warrant and marching NCO. Our course warrant, WO gorilla well call him, was an asshole always looking to cock the sh*t out of us. Cock means smoke us, it's what we call it in Canada. It's an abbreviation for Confirmation of Combat Knowledge. To get ready for cock sessions he used to stand behind his building and smash his chest like a gorilla to get pumped. Hence why I called him WO gorilla.This WO hated everyone on our course except for one candidate(we'll call him Pte bloggins). Pte bloggins was from his home unit. He showed a lot of favouritism towards him and didn't hide it. He always told the rest of the troops to be like Pte bloggins who was in his eyes the prime candidate. Now Pte bloggins also hated the WO as much as us and we all had respect for him.
One day we planned to mess with the WO and see what would happen.
Now, every morning for inspection he would go though our weapons and smell them to make sure no candidate used baby wipes to clean the carbon off their weapons. Also to ensure we used CLP( it's what we clean our weapons with.). Pte bloggins decided that for the next morning inspection he would wipe his cocking handle through his ass and see if the WO would smell it.Next morning the WO comes into our tent all angry as usual. He inspects my cocking handle, smells it, and yells at me for not having used enough clp to clean it. He then goes to Pte bloggins cot, picks up his cocking handle, inspects it, and smells it (like a really deep smell). All the troops in my tent which were 10 people at the time knew what Pte bloggins had done. We were all nervous and anxious to see the WO's reaction.He then turns to look at everyone in the tent and tells us with all seriousness, "now this is what a good cocking handle f**king smells like!".We all stand there trying so hard to keep a straight face as we all knew that the WO just took a good deep smell of Pte bloggins sh*t.We had all watched Pte bloggins wipe it on his ass that same morning. Myself i almost cried as I could barely contain myself after this incident. We all knew now how full of shit this WO was.