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Private FakeName Just Can't Get Right

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August 31, 2016
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Private FakeName in BCT, 2007. He was that classic kid who would ask the DS stupid questions, get everybody smoked for his stupidity, and be confused by what happened. Not real popular. Had more and more restrictions put on him as BCT progressed. Like "Recruit must ask a Battle Buddy first before asking a DS". Finally arriving at "Recruit is not permitted to speak to DS directly. Recruit must ask two Battle Buddies the question who must approve the question and will relay it to the DS on Recruit's behalf."Yeah. Wanna go to the latrine? Two buddies have to approve the question and ask the DS FOR HIM. You can imagine how frustrated a DS team has to be to set those kind of "sweet Jesus I don't want this kid to talk to me" rules. He almost never listened to the restrictions, thought his questions were always worth asking, and got us punished each time.Somewhere near the end of the cycle, we were marching to some random outside class when PVT FakeName called out and asked, "Drill Sergeant, will there be a cake at chow later?".CFF Tuck Tuck


DS don't answer, but I saw his head redden and his shoulders shake in rage. He says nothing, and we keep marching. (Think we were behind schedule or something.)PVT FakeName asks again. Silence from the DS. For 5 seconds. And then..."Column, HALT!""Left, FACE!""PRIVATE FAKENAME! I want you to write a letter home to your WHORE MOTHER, and get her to start writing me CHILD SUPPORT CHECKS! Because I am TIRED of watching your stupid ass FOR FREE!""Right, FACE!"Forward, MARCH!"10 seconds pass."AND STOP THAT F*CKING CRYING!!!!"He did in fact ask fewer dumb questions after that. He wasn't a bad kid, but he was kind of an awful Soldier. :-D

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