Endurance in Training: Story 4418

Fall 2000, 30th AG was packed. For whatever reason, everyone was joining the army, we had almost 5000 slotted for RIP. The DS's had entirely too many Joe's to control so we were pretty much left alone to cause havoc. Lots of testosterone flowing and the fights were daily. We also were stuck in reception for 30+ days so boredom was part of the problem.One morning after the strenuous (sarc) round of chain breakers and side straddle hops for pt. (We hadn't taken our initial pt test yet so they didn't know if we would die if we ran or did push ups) it was time for chow. Those of you who remember 30th AG chow in the early 2000's, we could eat cake and cookies, drink soda, put chocolate milk in our frosted flakes and even get seconds if we wanted.Anyway I was starving and as soon as we were released I began my sprint to the dfac, passing everyone because, well if you run, you will die. I heard someone yell behind me "hey dick, no running" so I flipped a bird over my shoulder and didn't slow down. I felt someone jump on my back and someone else tripped me and down we went. I felt a few kicks to my arm and a few punches land on my back then heard a yell that was clearly a DS. After convincing him we were just horse playing I see three pvts. Dissappear into the chow line.Several pvts in my plt. Had just walked up and had saw the 3 that jumped me and said they knew who they were, and off we went to get justice. As we got to the chow line they were high fiving and laughing and didn't see us. I walked up and tapped the first one on the shoulder and as he turned around I popped him in the mouth and down he went, the second lunged forward and I swung and connected with his eye and down he went, the third back facing me had just realized what was going on and began to turn around and I connected with his ear and bam out like a light. I got the applause and all that good stuff, pvts let me and my growing entourage slip to the head of the line and into the dfac.

Fast forward 1hr. I am being escorted around by half of my plt because the rumors going around was I was wanted by their squad. A pvt runs up and says that 1sg wanted to see me in her office, thinking it was a trap everyone followed me, up the stairs into the office. There were the 3 pvts at attention in front of her desk. She began interrogating me and asking why I attacked her soldiers. I tell my story and it didn't match their version. That I attacked for no reason in the chow line.At that moment a DS walked in and asked why were there 50 pvts lined up outside. 1sg looked at me and I replied that they were my witnesses. So she begins one at a time calling them in, each one verified my story. She goes out the door and dismissed the rest, comes back in and unloaded on the 3 for jumping me, getting knocked out then running to her blaming me.She stops, looks at the bloody bruised and swollen wounds and begins laughing. "You 3 are my monkeys, you have a black eye, your mouth is jacked up and bleeding and your ear is swollen. See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil. Well I bet you monkeys won't do that again huh?" She tells me to dissappear and that was that for me.We would see those three sweeping the dirt lot or some other bullshit task for the rest of the time we were at the 30th but the day we were packing bags to head off to our training bat. they were stacking bags in the deuce. Off in the distance I hear 'where are my monkeys? Well get them back here they ain't leaving yet'.Never saw them again.And call BS all you want. Lots of witnesses for this one.