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Journey of Self-Discovery: Story 4423

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October 28, 2016
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Privates in basic do some pretty stupid sh*t, and when one does, sometimes the sh*t spreads like wildfire. I'm not sure who started the trend of mixing hand sanitizer with water to get drunk, but that's the stupid game most of my platoon of future 12Bs decided to play in Nov 2009.It's the night before either our 12 or 15k ruck march. Our DS had instructed us to have our rucks packed and laid out next to our bunks ready to go. I lived in the 10 man room with PVT S, who had decided to drink enough hand sanitizer to get thoroughly sh*t faced. This became apparent when PVT T was waking me for fire guard, and we both look over at PVT S as he gets out of his bunk.As he proceeds to lean against the wall, we're wondering what the fuck he's doing until he whips out his piss hose and proceeds to piss all over the wall, the floor, and, you guessed it, his own ruck sack. He then lays right back down and refuses to get back up to clean up his own piss. Now something had to be done about the piss puddle he left on the floor before any DS caught wind. I grabbed the mop and soaked enough of the piss off his ruck so it was no longer dripping on the floor before I finished mopping up the rest. Pretty fortunate because I was on the last hour of fire guard and the DS decided we didn't need that last half hour of sleep.


I remember being a road guard on that ruck, and every time I passed PVT S the putrid stench of piss was enough to gag you. A few clicks in and DS V had noticed too and was making his way around to find the source. It was dark when DS V's voice thundered, "what in the f*ck is that smell PVT?" PVT S stuttered before saying "I've pissed myself DS!" DS V proceeded to take PVT S off to the side for some words.I didn't catch it all, but I couldn't stifle a laugh as DS V yelled "Holy F*ck PVT, how did you manage to give your ruck a golden shower too!" PVT S rejoined the formation still in his pissy attire after awhile. To this day, I still wonder how he explained that without inviting the rest of us to his smoke session.

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