Basic Training Story 4599

This is a story from your favorite neighbors to the north. No, not Michigan. I'm talking Canada.Recruit training is done out of Saint-Jean, just outside of Montreal (the French part of Canada, sacre bleu). There was one legendary instructor that really stands out from the crowd. It could be the fact that he stood at around 6 feet and 5 inches; or it could just be that the man seemed to have a plethora of rumors about him everywhere he went. Let's call him The Master Seaman (equivalent rank of Sergeant for Americans). Every time he entered a room, the emotions you felt could be summarized as a funeral taking place on a roller coaster. I was "graced" with his presence on my course for about 2 weeks into our 13-15 week basic training (dependent on whether you are non-commissioned or officer). After that he rotated throughout a number of other newer platoons. I suppose he was the perfect first impression to give fresh recruits. The wetbacks from the suburbs especially needed the wake-up.Here are a number of confirmed events that happened to our platoon or sister platoon during my time in Saint Jean in 2011:1) We actually had reasonable down-time one day and the Master Seaman decided to chill and joke around with us. It was rather surreal because nobody had ever seen the man without a vein popping through his forehead and his vocal decibel level below crashing freight train. He was having problems with his computer and figured one of the "technician" trades guys would know how to fix it. One of the recruits took advantage of the Master Seaman's chill demeanor and interpreted it as permission to crack a wise joke.The Master Seaman took it in good humour saying "I swim with sharks and kill people for a living. I don't give a f*ck about computers." We then ran laps.

2) A squirrel got into the laundry and ironing room in the evening hours. The Master Seaman (who seems to shun home and prefers to volunteer his time scaring recruits at night) followed the squirrel around. Everyone in the laundry room was at attention in fear of what his reaction will be to wildlife infestation. He was ignoring the recruits however. He doesn't give a sh*t about recruits. He grabs a hot iron off of one of the ironing boards and throws it at the squirrel, disabling it. He then walks out of the room without saying a word. I'm pretty certain half of the people in that laundry room had to re-do their laundry after sh*tting themselves.3) Somebody left their bayonet out. So he picked up the bayonet and started chasing recruits down the hallway with it. "Unsecure kit IS THE ENEMY'S KIT." I'm pretty sure higher-ranking people heard of this because he had to apologize about it later. Political correctness is quite rampant with the officers in our military. Why? Let's just say something called the Somalia Affair happened, and we've had to beg for money from the government ever since.As for the Master Seaman himself, there were a lot of rumours about his past that range from the extraordinary to the hyperbolic impossibility. Some of them might have even been started by himself for shits and giggles (I don't honestly believe he's bedded with every woman in Saint Jean...err maybe). The other instructors we had seemed visibly uncomfortable around the loose cannon, and tried their best to avoid being around during those two weeks. I guess they were afraid they'd have to write up witness statements for when the day inevitably comes when the Master Seaman decides that "someone needs an accident to happen" and tosses them out of the 10th floor window of the garrison.Years later, an instructor friend of mine has told me some facts: he was infantry before he went combat diver. Some of his closest friends were killed in the friendly fire incident of 2002 in Afghanistan (Tarnak Farm incident). He held a grudge against the air force (and especially officers) from that point forward. He saluted a female air force officer. She (perhaps not noticing) failed to salute him back. He grabbed her by the shoulder and punched her in the face. He got demoted not long after that.Ask any Canadian who attended or instructed at Saint Jean between 2010 - 2012, and they will know who I'm talking about.