How to Get Shot 102: Breaking into Houses

Depending on the state you live in, this may actually not be that dangerous as states like California, seem to specialize in allowing burglary and home invasions to run rampant without repercussions. But given the state that we live in (Texas) with Castle Doctrine and all...breaking into houses is definitely a great way to get shot. Here's why.A lot of people are really bad at knowing the law of the land, especially when it comes to firearms, and given the litigious nature of society some people may be concerned, legally, about discharging their firearm in a public sphere even if they are totally in the right to do so...but...in Texas, in your home...if someone breaks in...it's basically full Cowabunga time as the lights go low and you grab your "AR-Pistol" chambered in .300 Blackout and go hunting for dumbasses. So here we are...Step 1: Pick a house in a notoriously gun friendly-ish state. For example, we're in Texas, and though our laws have gotten shittier (booooo), and we're not the best state for gun rights, we're still pretty solid. It doesn't matter what kind of neighborhood you're in (especially in Texas, you're not safe breaking into a hobos cardboard box in Texas, we love our homes.) Just break into any house.Step 2: Being that you're breaking into homes in a gun-friendly state, we're going to assume you're not very bright, so we're going also assume that you're very loud and don't know shit all about this cool thing called noise-discipline. Step 2 is basically your dumb ass waking up the homeowner, who in this state, doesn't have a Louisville slugger. Instead, he's got a custom-built, runnin' gunnin' bad guy eliminating, works every single time you give the ol trigger a pull Sons of Liberty Gun Works "Bad Guy Elimination Tool".Step 3: This is where you really start to regret your decisions, because our homeowner is no bitch, and he doesn't Israeli carry his weapons. Nope, there is a round in that chamber ready to aerate you like Lambeau Field. You won't hear the distinct sound of a charging handle, nope, the first and last thing you'll undoubtedly hear is a very distinct BOOM! After which, if you didn't get a third eye, you may hear the homeowner say something to the effect of;

"What a dumb bitch.""Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.""Pathetic""Yeet yeet boogaloo cowabunga!"

Thank you for tuning in to our class How to Get Shot 102.