Well, hello there, you bloodthirsty sweethearts. Welcome to one of the weirdest articles you'll ever read. You clicked on something related to Violent but True bedtime stories, and there's no unweird way to describe it, so buckle up, buckaroos! (We'll call it VBT from here on, just for brevity.)
So, why VBT? Well, we understand your needs. You work around a bunch of f*ckwits, you live around a bunch of soyboys, and you've always wondered if anyone has ever bayoneted thirty people in one day. These are the struggles of the modern American, and these are the sorts of questions we need to be asking.
We get you! You want to go out into the wild, fistfight grizzlies, conquer civilizations, and end bloodlines. These are natural, healthy urges in the average American male. And yet, we're neutered beyond all belief as a society.
Well, not us. We're dripping with testosterone and baby batter. But everyone else is in deep-ass trouble.
The solution? Give the people the mental testosterone injection they didn't know they needed. Oh, you hit traffic this morning, your boss "Michael" is a b*tch, and your old lady manages to screw up Mac n' Cheese. Waaah.
Have you ever had to defend a hill from a trillion Chinese Soldiers while your platoon makes their escape, knowing you're about to get shot and stabbed to death? How about falling from thousands of feet with a scrambled parachute in the middle of a thunderstorm? Perhaps you've been shot multiple times, stabbed, blown up, and burnt in one day and still managed to rip a throat out.
No? Most haven't, and that's ok. What isn't ok is you not knowing people like this exist and need to keep existing unless we want some Chinese commissar meat punching our fart boxes.
VBT aims to turn that all around with a laugh. It's ok to find humor in the dark, and when we go dark, we go pitch black. And for a good reason. This show is written, shot by, and delivered by Veterans WHO HAVE BEEN IN THE DEEP SHIT.
We know we're on to something here. In fact, nine out of ten doctors recommend violent but true bedtime stories for severe PTSD, chronic sourpuss, and erectile dysfunction. (for legal purposes, they do not. But the commie f*ckers should)
So, Kick back, grab a cold one, and enjoy the gift of violence with your friends and loved ones as we add new stories of graphic violence to our VBT Hall of Fame!
Seasons one through five are now live on American Grit with future seasons already in production because as it turns out there’s no lack of historical f*ckery for us to explore.
Until then, sleep tight and stack bodies!