4chan vs. Michael Avenatti: The Internet Drama

As we said, we don't get political. And we still won't. This, however, is a toe being dipped into something that we just can't help but write on. Michael Avenatti, Stormy Daniels lawyer, got really upset with 4Chan and back in July, basically challenged the internet to a fight. 4Chan vs. Michael Avenatti is a fight too one-sided not to cover.We really have no dog in this fight. But if you're somewhat familiar with the internet and all the...interesting things that take place on the internet, you'll realize it's not necessarily the place you should go around waving your junk thinking you have power. It's the internet. There are 15-year-old basement dwellers who could hack into your life and ruin you while eating Funions and drinking Mountain Dew.We think there are a great many things you should do with your time that would be more productive than challenging 4Chan to a fight.

For instance, you could do the following:

Stick your junk in a meat grinder. Kick a grizzly bear square in the nuts.Play Frogger for real on any given interstate. Go on a bike ride to prove how peaceful ISIS is.Eat Tide Pods.

All of these, while seemingly dangerous, are not nearly as foolish as one man, stating that he will shut 4Chan down. This is the internet, you have no power here. We look forward to more entertainment the longer this goes. Just watch the Twitter feed, grab a big ol bag of popcorn, sit back relax and enjoy the shitshow that is about to take place. It will quite possibly be the most one-sided fight in the history of humankind. We actually feel some sort of pity for Michael. There is no way this turns out good for him.

So in the wise words of someone who has been around the dark corners of the internet for a few years. Welcome to the Thunderdome, bitch.