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4th of July To-Do List

May 29, 2018
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If you're going to celebrate the 4th of July as best as you can, we have some ideas on activities you can do to ensure that you make America's birthday the penultimate experience of freedom and liberty. For those of you who dare to complete everything on this list, beware. You might have to be somewhat sneaky about accomplishing these feats on our 4th of July to do list. Were giving you more than enough time to get prepared, so we don't want any excuses.The first thing on our to-do list is going to be kind of difficult for those of you who aren't on the east coast, but if you're willing and able to make the trek it'll be worth it. Go to the beach on the east coast, and turn facing northeast so you're pointed at Britain. Drop trow and give a hearty (and now friendly) moon to what's left of the British Empire. Folks on the northern border can substitute in Canada for Britain because the Queen is still on their money so...Next thing we need you to do is to buy up all of the tea in your local grocery store and head over to a dock or pier at your nearest body of water, whether it be pond or lake or ocean (bonus points if you actually live in Boston and do this at Boston Harbor). Dump all of the tea into the harbor and then go drink with your friends![caption id="attachment_17700" align="alignnone" width="750"]

4th of July To Do List

I say good sir, we shan't be having any more of you and your king's tomfoolery[/caption]Nothing screams a good freedom loving time like our last item on the to-do list. Our founding fathers, while civilized and educated as they may be, were some hard-drinkin', explosion making badasses. So get all the fireworks you can and RESPONSIBLY consume the nectar of the gods, whilst making some righteous displays of freedom with explosives/fireworks...whatever you can LEGALLY and SAFELY (somewhat safe...) do.After all, this is America's birthday and if we've proven anything, it's that we're here for a raucous good time.

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