Area 51 Chronicles: Naruto Runners

Swift like eagles they descended upon the fortified lines defending the Groom Lake installation. Their delta swept arms did indeed enable them to surge to speeds faster than speeding bullets one problem though...they weren't trying to outrun the bullets, rather, they were running headlong into them. They had failed to take into account the most basic principles of physics and human anatomy. We're not exactly that dense.∑K =½m₁v₁² +½m₂v₂²The rounds started to find their mark and given the lean, malnourished bodies of the Naruto runners, the rounds penetrated (lol penetrated) deep into the lines of the Naruto runners. Their greatest strength had been turned against them. Bodies lay strewn about, spun around and twisted into ghastly positions due to the immense energy created when the rounds impacted.However, all was not lost. A handful of Naruto runners had managed to bob and weave through the torrential storm of lead. They made their way through the fighting positions causing havoc with their speed, limbs were ripped clean off as Naruto runners passed by. The shockwaves concussed many a defender. They were winning...they were taking the northern flank and rushing to help the beleaguered Karens.All was going well for the Naruto runners until...the one weakness they could not overcome made its sinister presence known. The copious amounts of Mountain Dew consumed had left the Naruto runners dehydrated...and it was only getting warmer. Their bodies convulsed and twisted, taking away their precious speed advantage. They could no longer maintain the delta swept-wing shape with their arms.This was the beginning of the end for the Naruto runners. As they convulsed, and fell to the ground twisting and turning, the Groom Lake defenders slowly but surely regrouped and began clearing the lines with shotguns.The distinct sound of shotguns expelling the spent cartridge and chambering another round *chunk chunk* boom...*chunk chunk* boom...The defenders wiped the sweat from their brow. It was red with bits of viscera intermixed.Many defenders sat staring at the bloody landscape, many lit up a cigarette, all contemplating why these poor aerated fools committed to certain doom.