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Area 51 Raid: Cancelled Event

September 13, 2019
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The Area 51 Raid has been canceled by the original OG creator of said event. To which we say...What a bunch of cowards.How in the fuck are you going to organize the grand scheme of clappin' alien cheeks or even finding out if aliens exist, get everyone all hyped up about it and drop out like...a little over a week before the event? Now obviously, none of us were dumb enough to say that we were going to go raid Area 51, because the Air Force was definitely like;

"Hey, uh, we know this is going to be wildly unpopular, but like dudes, we will totally fucking shoot every last one of you." -U.S. Air Force spokesman (probably)

So now, instead of sticking to their convictions, everyone that was going to go, including the OG organizer, have all chickened out. Which truth be told really really bums us out. We were going to set up a street taco food truck in the parking lot. It's not like they are going to need the money later, and the last thing you wanna do is try to raid a place without proper nutrition. We were going to make a killin'...hmm maybe the wrong choice of words there, but nonetheless we are disappointed.While many people are upset that we won't learn the truth about aliens, just watch the entire Ancient Aliens series over and over and over again and after the like 123rd time watching it, you'll just be convinced there are aliens and you won't even have to get shot to find out, which, unless you had a death wish and Area 51 was the way you wanted to you can still go. Hell even if you don't have a death wish you can still go...just probably won't be hordes of people there and you'll definitely get singled out and shot, but at least you'll have lived up to your convictions.Disclaimer: We're not trying to encourage you to go to Area 51. Trying to forcefully enter a U.S. military base will totally, definitely get you shot, probably multiple times, and if you're super unlucky and there are aliens, you aren't gonna be the one clappin' cheeks. Consider this your warning and us covering our asses.

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