Go to triangular compass
Left arrow

Cyber Monday's Hidden Gems

November 21, 2018
Share on Twitter
Share on Facebook
Share on Linkedin
Copy Link

Stay Up to Date on American Grit

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.

It isn't going to be the savings you get from PornHub or any other website like that (plus why would you pay, you know you can get that shizzle fo' free right?). No, rather it's that you get to do all of you're shopping in the comfort of your underwear if you're even wearing any underwear, to begin with...well, that's one of the perks at least.We tried to go shopping on Black Friday in our underwear before, it did not end well for us. We were definitely able to outrun the local mall cops on those weak ass Segways, but then the real police showed up. Despite the volume and insistence in our voices that this was America and we are free, the fur missile was still launched. Our arm is apparently a really great target for said fur missile and we spent the next 48 hours in the county jail.This year we've learned from our lesson and we decided to stay at home...and in our underwear, buying all the great things you can usually find in the store, but now online and often with free delivery. See the best part of Cyber Monday is that everything is a click away whether you're in underwear, a three-piece suit or nothing at all. If the weather sucks, no big deal, just click. If traffic sucks because people don't know what blinkers are, just click instead.All of these are great things about Cyber Monday, but the absolute best part...the absolute by far, by leaps and bounds is that fact that you won't have to deal with any sort of Black Friday crowds or get bit by a super bite-happy Maligator! While you may feel sad that you miss out on some epic soccer mom brawls in the parking lot, the spot on our arm where the K-9 unit attached itself is still tender and we're happy to watch all the mayhem and chaos later on YouTube.Happy holiday shopping folks, and remember, turn your phone sideways before recording fights on Black Friday. Don't be a prick.

send a letter to congress
Adds section
Next Up
No items found.