At least that's what the medical examiner is saying. So instead of suicide, which to be fair we all fucking knew it wasn't suicide, it looks more like a homicide. Look. Fuck. We hate to put on our tinfoil hats and assume that there is this giant conspiracy, we're aware of how looney it makes us all seem. but for fuck's sake, too much about this is fucking stupid.Dr. Michael Baden, former New York City medical examiner, stated that Jeffrey Epstein, known billionaire, philanthropist and uh...what's the other word...uh oh yeah pedophile, likely died due to strangulation and that his injuries were not consistent with injuries sustained from hanging.It's almost like...it's almost like the entire American public knew that he was killed because it was like way too obvious that he had dirt on someone...hmm gee, we wonder who that could be. Please take note of our facetious tone.The sad thing is that unfortunately, Dr. Baden might meet the same fate for telling the truth, or rather "a truth" (if you catch our drift) and if he does, it'll just be another layer of metaphorical tinfoil we'll add to our already large tinfoil hat. It is quite bulky at times.The indications that the suicide was instead a homicide reside in the three fractures along Epstein's neck, stating that for a hanging, three fractures are extremely rare, but for strangulation, these fractures are much more common.Epstein's brother is the man responsible for hiring Baden and conducting an independent investigation regarding the cause of death. The interesting part about this whole ordeal though, is that the current New York City Medical Examiner Barbara Sampson stated it was definitely a suicide by hanging...So the question is, who do we believe? Dr. Baden or Dr. Sampson...Did Epstein kill himself or was he murdered?We're gonna go out on a limb and say that we trust Dr. Baden...buuuut, who knows at this point, ever since they killed our boy Harambe, the world has been topsy turvy and all sorts of curvy.
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