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Is Everything You Read on the Internet True?

March 4, 2018
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As the team here peruses the vastness of the world wide web, seeing both the brilliance and beauty of a puppy welcoming a newborn baby to the world and the dark underside of the interwebs where trolls and the angriest amongst us thrive, we have discovered one unifying theme that you must all remember. (Holy run-on sentence batman). Everything you read on the internet is true. No matter how conflicting with what you've actually experienced in real life, if it's on the internet it's true.From the Earth being flat to dinosaurs still existing (aside from alligators and crocodiles, mean bastards) and everything in between, it's all true. Just remember the quote by Abraham Lincoln "Facebook is the epitome of the vast wealth of human knowledge up to this point, and Mark Zuckerberg is a saint."

Everything you read on the internet is true

How can you argue with good ole 'Honest Abe'? You can't because this is on the internet and therefore now it is true. Always never forget that! Every conspiracy theory, every nonsensical challenge, everything as soon as it is immortalized on the internet, by sheer magic that not even Stephen Hawking can explain, it becomes true. Except for anything that has to do with you getting that Ferrari or 100 billion dollars (Okay Dr. Evil) or getting a full 8 hours of sleep. Yeah, none of that is true. Weirdly enough, only the things that don't directly affect you or could never affect you are true. It's a weird "twilight-zonesque" effect, we've got scientists working on a solution right now (we don't).

Everything you read on the internet is true

So there you have it, now we all know if it's on the internet it's true, except when it comes to benefitting you. Then it's not true, but it could be, but it isn't. Everyone enjoy your internets and remember to panic, so you make everyone else believe whatever it is, is true too...because it is.(Satire)

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