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Flat-Earther Cruise to Antarctica

March 27, 2019
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A Flat Earther cruise is "scheduled" take place on a venture to Antarctica in 2020...look anytime idiots want to be idiots and spend their money being idiots, I don't get mad. I just saunter over to my little in-home bar, make me up a nice little Moscow Mule (I swear I'm not a commie, I just like vodka) sit back and relax with a super childish and extremely complex neon blue loop de loop bendy straw and get ready for the inevitable shit show that is about to take place.With that all being said, my drink is made and now I will sit back and watch...whilst offering pithy commentary on what I believe will occur when this cruise takes place.The year is 2020 and flat earthers are taking a cruise to Antarctica in order to prove once and for all that the Earth is flat. Because f*** all the guidance systems that get them from point A to point B that operate on the 'theory" that the Earth is round.First off, there are going to be some really disappointed, really loud, dipshits who find out that Antarctica is not a giant ice wall that is several thousand miles thick and 164 feet tall. It's going to be super weird."Hey uh, there Bob...""Yeah, Steve?""I uh...thought you said the wall was 164 feet tall...""I did Steve, I did.""We'll uh Bob, it's uh 3 feet tall right here and uh...probably 20 feet over there at the tallest point...""What's your point, Steve?""Well uh...Bob, my point is that you're a f***ing dipshit and I can't believe I bought into this farce you wobblecock."Meanwhile, on the ship, the captain and the crew who all know the Earth is round will be lighting cigars with Benjamin Franklin's face.Back on Antarctica, the intrepid explorers will be befuddled as they scamper across the barren wasteland that is indeed a continent and not a wall. While some will change their minds, no doubt, there will be others who like all good conspiracy theorists, dive deeper into the rabbit hole and say something to the effect of"We only got to see what the gubbmint wanted us to see man...mind control you know?"This person will say this...while certainly high off of some pharmaceutical grade hallucinogenic.That is all you need to know about the Flat Earther Cruise to Antarctica. I'm Ron Burgundy?

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