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Glow Belt Equals High Fashion

August 17, 2018
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Are you kidding me Urban Outfitters? Seriously. According to fashion designers who apparently know all of jack and shit about fashion, the glow belt equals high fashion. What...like...why the hell would anyone wear this? What in the ever living world of why friggin bother, would anyone ever consider wearing a glow belt to be a fashionable choice?Look, we hated wearing them in the military. Never mind the fact that they cost thirty friggin dollars. THIRTY DOLLARS! Honestly, we can't wait to see some poor hipster wearing this in public with their skinny jeans. You can get one at the PX or Wal-Mart for like three dollars.Since everyone else jumps on this train, we're gonna go ahead and say that this is cultural appropriation, and that shit is wrong. You shouldn't appropriate cultural items, especially when those items are the most ridiculous piece of military culture.We thought we'd seen dumb before. We thought we had seen people make foolish decisions prior to this. The whole eating Tide Pods, doing the Keke challenge, all of the shenanigans that the last several years have entertained...but this, this is the most ridiculous thing.

Glow belt

How are they going to advertise for this?

"Hey do all your friends think your fashion is too low visibility? Brighten up your fashion sense with this military style glow belt! Because nothing says I'm a clueless tool like wearing a glow belt as an actual belt.""Do you have difficulty when it comes to girls seeing you at the club, now they'll definitely see you and laugh at something other than your small package."

Look, we're not the biggest fans of making fun of civilians for things they don't understand about the military. They don't know, and you can't be upset at someone for being ignorant to our culture and ways. However, this is ridiculous and it should be common knowledge that this will just give people another reason to laugh at you.

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