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Grunt Style Funny Shorts: Marines Can Read Minds

December 28, 2017
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Don't ask any of the other branches about Marines. They'll just reply with "those guys are weird." One of the weird things is Marines can read minds. Not in a bad way, like they know your thoughts, but they can read each other's minds.

Marines can read minds

Take for instance this raw footage shot from Grunt Style HQ. Marines have the uncanny ability to know when another Marine is in need. Whether it's a pen, ammo, chow, whatever, Marines can read minds of their compatriots. Sometimes even across great distances. The power is only amplified as they get closer together. In fact, the more Marines you have in close proximity to one another, the more attuned their mind reading abilities become. The truth of the matter is that no other service can replicate the type of eery mind-reading capabilities of Marines. We're not entirely sure of how this Marine Corps mind meld works, there are many theories but one stands out among the rest.

Marines can read minds

The theory behind the mind meld is that Marines get this special power from eating crayons. While the other branches have experimented with eating crayons, none of them could keep it up long term. Only the Marine Corps has had the genealogical ancestral history of eating crayons on a long-term basis. With no other branch being able to replicate their mind meld ability or handle prolonged diets of crayons, it is only reasonable and rationale that this is where their power comes from. While we don't have any other proof, it is good enough for us to make this theory into law. Marines get mind reading ability with other Marines, from crayon consumption.

Marines can read minds

We highly recommend that you don't start on your own diet of crayons as you're not a Marine and it takes a very special gut and a very special brain to find any nutritional value in crayons.

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