Guys, we love these questions, they're so thoughtful and intuitive. If you ever get to ask a veteran about their service, make sure your questions are on par with what you're about to see. Because the truth is, we really love answering these questions. In no way shape or form are they base, shallow or uninformed.
The first question we always get is the "Did you kill anyone?" question. Of course, it's the military, not the Peace Corps. You totally have to kill a guy on your first day to prove to your drill sergeant/drill instructor that you're even worthy of joining. They ship guys in from Gitmo so we're actually killing terrorists after we're done interrogating them. It's a win-win situation, well not for the terrorists but you get the gist. Next question, please! Yes, the military is just like Call of Duty, how did you guys know? We bet you play a lot of video games. Getting shot doesn't really hurt either, you just respawn, but sometimes there's a glitch in the respawn, that's when guys lose limbs, not from actual combat.
Do we know Nick, Brad or any of your other friends? Yes, yes we do. He's the guy with short hair, drinks a bunch and swears a lot, yeah...wait, we actually don't think we know Nick or Brad. Sorry for the confusion. Do we fly fighter jets? Listen, do you think they give a multi-million dollar piece of equipment capable of raining death and destruction en masse to a nineteen-year-old kid who's insurance rates haven't dropped yet? Yes, yes they do and we fly jets all the time.
Surely this has been an extremely eye-opening experience for those of you unfamiliar with military life. If it seems too good to be true, that's because it is. This is all satire. None of the above is true. Don't ask a veteran a bad question!