Grunt Style Funny Shorts: The Infantry Midas Touch

Gather round for a tale of caution, the Infantry Midas Touch, while great in theory, falls apart quite easily. See ammo, ammo is expensive and range time is precious. Once upon a time, we were given our ammo by the military, and it cost us nothing. Now, now we have to pay for it and that jazz is expensive.

One such man once wished to have the Infantry Midas Touch, that everything he touched would turn to ammo. He went around touching all sorts of things, bestowing upon himself ungodly amounts of ammunition to expend at the range. It was beautiful. He had ammo for days. Think about that, the sheer joy of being able to dump thousands of rounds down range without a second thought as to where your next magazine will come from. Soon though, the Infantry Midas Touch turned sour.

There was plenty of ammunition to be had, our infantryman had accumulated enough ammo to arm a medium sized third world country. It was off to the range he would go. His vehicle could barely make it past 45 mph he was carrying so much ammo. He arrived at the gun range, ready to put rounds down range and spend hours trying out new techniques and honing his skills. He went grabbed his trusty pistol, and then it happened. The pistol, his pride, and joy, turned to ammunition right before his eyes. His whole reason for wanting ammo, it destroyed his ability to utilize said ammo and he walked the earth, cursed for the rest of his days. Never again was he able to feel the sweet recoil and see the glorious burst from his own firearm.

Just goes to show that you ought to be careful what you wish for. Things that you think will be great, may not always turn out the way you want.