Idiot's Guide: AR Stands

One thing those of us in the gun culture cannot stand is the absolute ignorance that is portrayed by certain members of the media when they speak about firearms. More specifically scary looking rifles. This is a media guide to what AR stands for. The nomenclature can be confusing and with so many advances in technology, we can understand how difficult it might be to keep up with the latest jargon. We've compiled a list to help ensure you don't sound like a bumbling buffoon when speaking on such topics. If you find yourself at a loss, have no fear when your interview or statement on policy comes around, if you read this article you'll be well prepared to sound like you've been around guns ever since you were a wee toddler.Pay close attention!AR: Ghost GunWe know the letters AR aren't even in Ghost Gun, but nonetheless, if it has AR in front of it, it's a Ghost Gun, fully equipped with a bullet button that with a 30 caliber clip will disperse 30 bullets within half a second. A 30 magazine clip within half a second is certainly terrifying. We should all be wary of this gun's capabilities.AR: Assault RifleEasily the most obvious abbreviation assault rifle. That's what AR stands for right? It sits right next to our AB-Louisville Slugger, and my AK-Jackhawk 9000 (Assault Bat and Assault Knife, respectively). AR is not to be mistaken with the AK (Assault Knife, such as the Jackhawk 9000, or Assault Killer in reference to the AK-47)

AR: Automatic RifleEveryone knows, especially after reading the ghost gun description that any AR is an automatic rifle that disperses (not fires) bullets at insane rates. Make sure to get the bullet count right though, as the number after the AR definitely has no other meaning than how many bullets it disperses in one-half second. So an AR-15 disperses 15 bullets from the magazine clip in one-half second. An AR-10 would disperse 5 fewer bullets per half second and therefore less deadly. Whereas the AK-47 (Assault Killer, not Assault Knife) is far more deadly, dispersing 47 bullets from the magazine clip, per half-second.

AR: Armor piercing RifleThey just forgot to put the P in the middle, AR most definitely stands for all of the above plus this definition as well. Because of the high magazine clip capacity, the bullets are much more powerful. Each round is exponentially more powerful than the last. That's why 30 round magazine clips are so dangerous, the last and final round's power been multiplied to the 30th exponent. It could take out a tank!!!

We hope you learned a lot from "A Media Guide To What AR Stands For"In case nobody realized this. It's satire. In the name of all that is good and holy, please, educate yourself before you speak on a subject. Whether guns, education or economics, too much knowledge was never a bad thing unless you're Adam and Eve...but that's an entirely different story.