Outsmarted a Drill Sergeant
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KIA Soldier Outsmarts Drill Sergeant

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June 30, 2016
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So my older brother is one of the only reasons I decided to enlist in the military. He served for 9 years before becoming KIA (Killed In Action) in Afghanistan. Before all that, he outsmarted a Drill Sergeant. My brother was not one to f*ck with, standing at 6’7″ and upwards of 250 lbs at the time he attended basic training. He fought in Sadr City and all over Iraq and Afghanistan over the years, and till the day he died his favorite story to tell was one of him in basic training. So out of respect for my brother and for the shear reason I know he’d want me to share it.

Here is his story...

My brother enlisted in 2002 and was sent to Fort Sill for Basic Training. The first week there the Drill Sergeants were constantly mind f*cking and intimidating the soldiers as any good Drill Sergeant. The Drill Sergeants knew these troops are for sure going to war. My brother was not easy to hide within the formation nor did he have the mentality to hide. So one day one of the three Drill Sergeants for his platoon was assigning positions and assigned my brother to be the Guidon bearer for the platoon. The Drill Sergeant claimed we needed a big mother f*cker up front to lead the way for our platoon. My brother, as humble as he is, took the position with pride and honor. Without saying a word, he walked up and snatched the guidon from the private that had it.

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So the next day Drill Sergeant K comes to work. Drill Sergeant K stands at 5’3″, we can be nice and say 5’4″ and weighs 160 lbs. He notices my brother up front at parade rest with the guidon for morning formation. Drill Sergeant K was not happy and immediately expressed it, running up to my brother and standing at about crotch level and screaming at him, “NO F*CKING WAY PFC S! No way is this happening! Give up that guidon NOW PFC S! TIME NOW!”. My brother never broke his position nor did he even look down to acknowledge the Drill Sergeant. This infuriated the Drill Sergeant even further to the point he screamed, “Damnit PFC S, if you don’t give that guidon up in the next minute I will punch your dick until your asshole bleeds!”.

The Opportunity Is Presented...

Now the Drill Sergeant's chin was just about crotch level, and the Drill Sergeant was maybe an inch away from him. Seeing his opportunity my brother, while maintaining the position of parade rest, leans forward slightly to make his crotch ever so gently touch the Drill Sergeant's chin.The Drill Sergeant, in complete disbelief, runs into the company building. Fifteen minutes go by and the original Drill Sergeant who appointed him Guidon Bearer comes walking outside in a fury. Storms up to my brother and whispers, “was he trying to make you give that guidon up PFC S?”Brother: “Yes Drill Sergeant”Drill Sergeant: “did you touch your crotch to his chin PFC S?”Brother: “Yes Drill Sergeant!”

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The Drill Sergeant starts bursting out in laughter and says, “well god damn PFC S! That’s why I picked you! Don’t let anyone take that guidon from you!”. The Drill Sergeant whispers in his ear, “don’t take sh*t from anyone”. He pats him on the back, grasps the back of his neck, and screams, "HOOAH PFC S!".Come to find out later that cycle no body from the CO (Commanding Officer) down liked Drill Sergeant K. Some of the Drill Sergeant made claims he was just the type of person that cries when things don’t go his way. He was known for throwing temper tantrums, and trying to throw other Drill Sergeants under the bus for stupid sh*t. Just an all around blue Falcon.

The Conclusion...

I still have the letter he wrote home that week saying, “I shoved my crotch in a b*tch Drill Sergeant's face!”.Now my brother respected and followed the lead of all his Drill Sergeants except Drill Sergeant K. Drill Sergeant K would yell at the Barracks as a whole walking down the line and skip my brother, he never looked at him again.Still to this day I’m almost 150% certain my brother is the only private to punk out a Drill Sergeant and get away with it.That’s also back when the Army was gearing up for war. If that happened nowadays my brother would be booted out only after having to complete online courses and classes on sensitivity and the feelings of others. His nicknames since the incident were "Dick Punch" and "Guidon".So R.I.P. to my brother, the biggest Dick Punch I’ll ever know, and a damn good warfighter at that.Thank you for reading.Originally Posted on ASMDSS Stories

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