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Marines Positive for Rona, Forced to Wear Red Patch

April 7, 2020
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The Marine Corps has been quietly forcing some Marines to put a red patch on their uniform. However, an anonymous Corpsman with 3rd Battalion 6th Marine regiment gave us some insight. The source (who we will refer to as "silver bullet") told us this is to "identify those yuck mouths with that 'Rona."(sic)The battalion is still looking for two lost rifles, so many Marines are constantly in close proximity.Silver bullet says "If you see a red patch Marine, you know to keep your distance. It may be mean to highlight them, but it's good encouragement to self-isolate, no one wants to be a red patch Marine."

How the Corps enforces the red patch

The Marine Corps has seen COVID-19 spread rapidly through several bases. Commanders have scrambled to hold several "all hands" formations to ensure Marines know how to stay six feet apart. Captain Iwana Tryhard told us she makes sure to have at least 2 formations daily to warn Marines. "I like bringing everyone in to tell them to keep six feet apart" says Tryhard.We asked if she had limited formations to non-essential personnel, to which she responded, "Every Marine is essential, from the one sweeping my office, to the Marines taking out my trash." As a result, Corpsmen and Marines alike have been posting pictures of their mops and brooms on Snapchat with the caption "essential personnel.""Physical training is no different either," silver bullet confides in us. "We now run six feet behind each other in a straight line. Everyone coughs and we don't know if its smoker's lung, burn pit lung, or that 'Rona."A Marine cannot remove the red patch until they have tested negative for the virus, twice. Additionally, they need to have it annotated in their medical record. However, the stamp is typically "out of ink" and supply hasn't ordered a new one yet.

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