Not a Fucking Gain

Not again. Nope. Not gonna do it. Not going to have this happen again. Harambe hurt too much and now this beautiful lion with his Fabio-esque mane. He's gorgeous. And then...on the other side of a moat, you have this "wonderful" individual who jumped into the lion enclosure.Look. Zoos do shit to the animals when people get threatened by the animals. Shit that hurts the animal to protect the person. Because as the general rule goes, people before animals. Right. Pretty common sense that human life is valued more than an animal's life. We get it, we'd save our mom before our parakeet, Baxter.LUCKILY, the lion made a great decision to not try and make the jump across the moat and maul this lady. We can just imagine what is going on in his head.

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Even the Lion is confused by this idiot.... like “She tryna set me up??!!” 🎥 @realsobrino #BronxZoo

A post shared by Ebro Darden (@oldmanebro) on Oct 1, 2019 at 3:03pm PDT

"Is this lady for real? Is she really jumping into my enclosure? Does she know I'm not a koala? I should roar and let her know I'm not a cute and cuddly lemur. Roooooaaaar! See. Not an aardvark, I will mess you up. What are you even doing in here? Usually, Steve feeds me, and you're not Steve. Did you do something to Steve? I like Steve. Steve gives me steaks and encourages the lionesses to mate with me. Steve is a cool guy...now back to you...you're not Steve, you have no steak, and you're not playing the lion equivalent of Barry Manilow...so again, I gotta ask you...what the fuck are you doing here? I mean, I ain't jumpin across, cause I saw how they did my boy Harambe..mmm mmmm nope. Not gonna happen to me!"

Look, we don't care who you are, where you're from as long as you love...wait...that's not the right line. We don't care who you are, where you're from, don't go jumping into enclosures at zoos, even if it is to pet the super cute lemur and definitely not with gorillas or lions.We don't want to deal with the heartbreak again. We just can't take it.