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Sleep with One Eye Open – April Fool’s Day Approaches

March 1, 2024
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Ah yes, April Fool’s Day, the ultimate excuse for your squad mates to behave with unrepentant jackassery. Not that they needed an excuse, of course. Considering the long tradition of pranks in general, as well as those specifically pulled off by members of the armed services past and present, the tradition must be continued. Exercise caution, however, as some actions are pranks, and some are criminal assault: fun is fun but know where the line is. 

Having said that, here is an example of an excellent prank pulled off in the barracks, may they inspire you to greater heights.

The Toilet of Truth

The bars are closed, everyone made it back to the barracks safely, but one member of the ‘recon patrol’ that went to the bar needs to answer the call of nature. Doc (a Navy Corpsman) stumbles past his roommate to the shared bathroom and slumps down on the porcelain throne. After doing his business he reaches for the two ply and pulls, only to be loudly greeted with “[Name] is an aaaaaaasshole” to the tune of Beethoven’s Symphony No. 5.

Just let that image wash over you for a moment. Savor the chaos.

As it turns out, the roller that holds up the toilet paper roll had been replaced with one containing a tiny speaker capable of playing a short recorded message. But wait, there’s more. As the voice plays and the medic jumps away in surprise, the bathroom door leading to the adjoining room opens just a crack, and a champagne popper erupts in his direction, coating him in confetti. 12 / 10, to this day we still give that Corpsman a hard time.

When designing your April Fools Day pranks, or just messing with members of your unit because you can, always remember there IS a line. Not to mention the fact that retribution and escalation are always a possibility… Pick your targets carefully.

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