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Take a Moment to Thank a Commie

July 8, 2019
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Whoa whoa, just hear us out. Communism...right... like there is nobody in the world that has killed more Commies, than Commies. When it comes down to it, they are literally the best ever at killing Commies. It sounds weird that we should be thanking them, but truthfully if they didn't exist, well...if they didn't exist...then you know...problem solved, but they do exist. So since they exist, what's the best thing they could do? Kill other Commies.Whether by starvation, plague, or straight-up genocide, Commies kill shitloads of other Commies. Sometimes they get non-commies and that's bad. Superbad. If they would just stick to like...killing Commies, then we'd be like General Electric GE90-115B TURBOFANS of Commies. But they kill others and for that, we say "Booooooo boooooooo, boooooo Commies." And we're not huge General Electric GE90-115B turbofans for that reason and they are not a smart people.But truthfully, we do owe them a debt of gratitude. Where would we be without Commies? They exist so we know exactly what not to do. They're the guy in the office who we keep around so that when he says "That's a great idea," we know we're going in the wrong direction.Just think where we'd be without Commies. Russia and China might actually be better than the United States. See. Communism kept them back. And we, as decent wholesome capitalists, should be thankful that our opponents were duped into believing such farcical nonsense.So from the bottom of our hearts, with all sincerity, Thank you Commies, for killing more Commies than anyone else, ever. Thank you Commies for keeping Russia and China behind the United States. Thank you Commies for showing us all exactly what we should never ever ever ever f***ing do. We owe you all a debt of gratitude that can probably never be repaid because well, you're Commies so you don't know how money or economics work.

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