Taxing Your Booty Text

Not to be outdone by New Jersey and their door to door confiscation of magazines holding 10+ rounds, California has decided to do something stupid all their own. Now instead of being able to text all the potential booty calls with abandon, you're going to have to pick and choose the wonderful ladies (or guys, we don't know your gender or your preference and for f***s sake it's 2018) that you feel are most likely to respond to the text at 3 a.m. saying "wyd?"In actuality, it won't be a tax per text message, but rather a tax on the text messaging service. It's still bullshit because we already sold our soul to our mobile carrier for that unlimited plan with all the bells whistles and incognito browsing window for your special alone time. It's a 52-page proposal put forth by CPUC Commissioner Carla J. Peterman. How do you create 51.9 pages of fluff to go after the "we're going to tax texting"? We don't know, but we'd sure like to meet that author.And furthermore, aren't cellphone bills hard enough to decipher without adding another ridiculous surcharge! F***!Meanwhile, in France, people are rioting over a gas/carbon tax, burning their country to the ground and California is over here like"We see nothing, there is no way this could backfire. We know people are leaving our state in droves already, but it has nothing to do with the fact that we tax them into utter oblivion."Hopefully, as with most bad ideas, this gets defeated and people don't have to pay an extra fee to send naked pictures to the "love of their life" that they've known for all of 3 weeks. Before we all get upset, let's remember that's basically all anyone uses their phones for...that and playing Fortnite...and typing mean comments to strangers.