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Things to Remember in a Firefight

July 2, 2018
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A firefight can be a pretty intimidating place to be. The adrenaline rush and the inherent danger can make almost anyone forget some basic principles. So for those of you who are planning on joining the military we've asked some of our combat veteran experts to give us some advice or general;"Things to Remember during a firefight"Study hard and remember well so that you're not the reason you lose the firefight.Thing to remember number one, make sure you have cool sunglasses on. How can you expect to hit your target if you're not wearing dope ass shades? The sun will totally get in your way. If you want to kill ISIS and Al-Qaeda, you can only do it if you look really really cool.[caption id="attachment_18006" align="aligncenter" width="602"]

Things to remember

Not a single pair of uncool sunglasses among them.[/caption]Thing to remember number two, definitely be out of uniform. Like Peter Griffin says, the enemy is going to be looking for guys in camouflage, better to wear a Borat mankini underneath your body armor so they're not sure if you're a target. Plus the mankini totally allows for way more freedom of movement and you'll be faster and more agile on the battlefield, which is always a plus.

Things to remember

Thing to remember number three, have appropriate footwear. Look, we get it if you think that boots are cool to wear, but a flip-flop is way easier to take off and beat your enemy over the head with when you run out of ammo. The best part about the flip-flop, you never run out of ammo with it. It is your saving grace.[caption id="attachment_18007" align="alignnone" width="750"]

Things to remember

Particularly effective when used to hit an enemy fighter on top of the head.[/caption]Thing to remember number four, use Charms candy as an area effect weapon. They are lighter and much more effective at ruining days than the best hand grenade. They are also much lighter and you can carry way more of them. Ensure that you do not actually eat the Charms, no matter how tempting as it will most assuredly drop 40 degrees and immediately start to rain, and your weapon will jam and a whole host of other bad things will happen and you will die. Use Charms against enemy forces only.[caption id="attachment_18009" align="aligncenter" width="555"]

Things to remember

Charm OUT![/caption]Lastly, if you can, grow a beard and coat it in bacon grease, this will surely make you invincible.These things to remember will save your life.

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