Violent But True Bed Time Stories: Lewis Millet

When given the choice to kill Nazis or Commies, Lewis Millet responded with, "Why not both?" Lewis Joined the Army in 1940 to smack around that Hitler douche, but the U.S. hadn't quite decided if it was worth it yet. So Lewis left and went to Canada and enlisted there so he could smash Nazi skulls.

When the United States finally decided it was time to kill the Axis powers a la Japan attacking Pearl Harbor, Lewis was like "Ok, I'll come back now that I can kill Nazis." Lewis was stationed with the 1st Armored Division in North Africa where he got his first confirmed kill...of an airplane. Lewis was manning the machine gun on top of his Jeep when an enemy fighter came in low for a strafing run. Not having any of that bullshit, Lewis Millet threw his fifty caliber machine gun into action. He turned that pilot into mush and his plane into burning debris on the ground.

When World War 2 was over Millet's mustache 'o death hadn't been satiated and wanted more. Lucky for that killer mustache, Korea kicked off and Lewis Millet again found himself in the thick of the action. It was during the fight for Hill 180 that Millet's mustache really got its murder on. The platoon was pinned down by heavy machine gun and small arms fire. Millet was not happy about that shit, so he affixed bayonet and rallied his men. He then charged up the hill killing everyone he could. It was a veritable massacre as the mustachioed marauder left nothing but death in his wake. When the day was over the Chinese troops had retreated and Millet, well he was only minorly wounded.

Despite having a desertion charge on his record, Millet was able to reach the rank of Colonel. It probably had something to do with the Medal of Honor he was awarded for his actions in Korea. That or his mustache demanded to be promoted. Either way, its cool with us.