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Violent But True Bed Time Stories: George Washington

November 24, 2017
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George Washington exacts his revenge on British and Hessian troops in this weeks episode. Fresh from being kicked out of New York, George and the continental army were in dire straights. They were angry, and that anger soon turned to action commemorated in the famous painting of George and his troops crossing the Delaware River.

George Washington

George Washington had been kicked out of Manhattan by the British and Hessian troops. He was pissed off and the morale of the troops was sinking by the minute. George had a plan though. The father of our nation had a great idea and it was executed perfectly. Nothing says America like crossing a frozen river on Christmas Eve to slit throats and kick ass. That's just what the Americans did. Leading from the front good ol' George Washington led his troops across the Delaware River and into Trenton where they took the enemy forces by total surprise. A lot of enemy soldiers died.

George Washington

After kicking the ever living dog shit out of the enemy and taking prisoners back across the river, George Washington led his troops back to Trenton and killed more enemy troops. With these bold and daring raids, the morale of the continental army skyrocketed. The best part of this whole story is that the very men who had run George Washington and his men out of New York were the ones taking all of the abuse now heaped out in epic proportion by George and his band of marauding revolutionaries.

George Washington

Luckily for all of us, George Washington's daring raids paid off and we're all speaking English now. Wait that's not right. Anyways the Stars and Stripes are flying over Grunt Style and we're pretty happy that George Washington was able to rouse his men to such monumental victory in the unforgiving winter of 1776.

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