Violent But True Bed Time Stories: Brian Chontosh

Once upon a time, some terrorist assholes made a really bad life choice. They attacked Brian Chontosh and his Marines in Iraq. Despite having the element of surprise, those terrorists quickly learned Brian Chontosh was the baddest skull-crusher in the valley of the shadow of death.

It started out as just a normal day for Brian Chontosh and his Marines traveling through the Iraqi desert, normal until some insurgents decided that a coordinated ambush utilizing mortars, heavy small arms and RPG fire was on the menu. What a bunch of jerks. That's ok though because the insurgents apparently thought they were ambushing the Care Bears and not the United States Marine Corps. Brian decided to attack the problem head-on. He ordered his humvee to head towards their .50 caliber machine gun, while he manned the ever famous M-2 .50 caliber machine gun.

Brian just kept going and going like the Little Engine that Could, killing enemy fighters left and right. When Brian was done killing insurgents with the "Ma Deuce", he jumped out of the truck ready for a new challenge. This time he made his way down the trench killing terrorists in a proverbial turkey shoot. Brian Chontosh killed so many bad guys that he ran out of ammo. Fortunately for him, there were plenty of weapons lying around. So Brian just grabbed AKs and used them as well. While on his death-dealing trek, Brian found an enemy RPG. What luck! Lt. Chontosh fired the RPG at the enemy, blowing them all to kingdom come.

Brian Chontosh displayed the epitome of what it meant to be a Marine officer and lead from the front. Brian killed over twenty enemy fighters and wounded a whole lot more. For his bravery and leadership, he was promoted to Captain and awarded the Navy Cross.