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Opinion: Get New "Yeet Cannons" for War with Iran

Active Military
Active Military
June 20, 2019
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Look, it's pretty obvious we're about to go full Cowabunga in Iran. What better way than to kick it off than by getting the United States military some brand new Yeet Cannons? No, not the Hi-Point YC-9. Just some new guns.We can yeet to the left. We can yeet to the right. We can yeet Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps all day and night. That was corny, but still, the point remains.How demoralized do you think the enemy would be if they saw a bunch of dudes, running and gunning down their streets and stackin bodies wielding brand new Yeet Cannons/Kanones or however, the hell you wanna say it.Imagine...the feeling the enemy would have, seeing their brothers in arms gunned down by dudes wielding basically an internet joke. H&K might win the entire war for us, just based on the shame that Iranian soldiers would feel seeing their brethren gunned down by Monster drinking. drywall punching Kyle's wielding these badass futuristic rifles. The sheer stupidity of it sparks joy in our adolescent minds.Ahh, we can just envision it now..."Arash, what is going on, they are killing us by the thousands!""Farzin, these are the new American Yeet Cannons(Kanone), they are unstoppable!""Not only are we losing Arash, but also...we're being humiliated via trolls online. Our shame is too great!"Is it dumb? Yes. Would it make any sort of real difference? Absolutely not. But just like naming our ships things like the USS Murder Demon or the USS Hiroshima...there is a certain intangible psychological shaming element to the whole naming process that we can definitely get behind. After all, all is fair in love and war, right?So please, give our troops the best, give them the M-24 Yeet Cannon/Kanone and watch the bodies drop and the shame of our enemies intensify.

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