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Top 5 lies recruiters tell

July 31, 2023
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I have heard countless stories of a military member who felt like they got fucked over by their recruiter. Sometimes, it’s an unfortunate byproduct of a situation outside of their control, other times that MF straight up lied to your ass. 

We asked a ton of drunk vets, and here are top 5 lies recruiters tell.

  1. “If you don’t like your job, you can just change it later.”

What makes this a lie is the “just” part. There is no “just” anything in the military. They got your ass for that contract and maybe you can change your MOS later, but more than likely they’ll say “get fucked.”

  1. “It ain’t that bad.”

When you’re laying in a foxhole at night, exhausted from getting absolutely smoked that day, you pray you see your recruiter in your dream so you can choke the shit out of them. 

  1. “Don’t worry, I’ll add that in later.”

There is no “later” and if it’s not in the contract you sign, you will have a hard time convincing anyone that’s what was promised to you. It especially sucks when that promise was a bonus, a duty station or a school you really wanted. 

  1. “That job isn’t available for a long time.”

This one is especially duplicative when it’s only being used as a scare tactic to get you to agree to a job they are being pressured to fill. 

I.E. “You don’t want to wait 18 months bro, just sign as a cook and you can get out of this shit town this month.”

Side note: I was told infantry was full… during OIF 3… in the Marines. I said “okay I’ll join the Army” and what do you know? It magically opened up later that day. 

  1. “You can quit anytime you want.”

Watching a recruit tell the Operation Phantom Fury vet Drill Instructor that his recruiter told him that was hilarious. Absolute highlight of my day. 

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