1st Marine Division's Good Humor

Earlier today we translated the orders from the desk of the 2nd Marine Division commander for how a day in the life of a 2nd MARDIV Marine should go. As you all recall, it was non-stop f*** f*** games which prompted a response from Marines on the opposite coast, or what's better known as the 1st Marine Division (1st MARDIV). According to Marines and commanders from the west coast, they don't need to be told how to conduct their day because well...they're not "a bunch of pizza box shooting boots".Obviously, there seems to be a bit of a rivalry between the two coasts/two divisions, but this new order just added fuel to the flame. We interviewed several Marines from the 1st MARDIV and this is what they had to say."No shit gents, the division commander is having to tell the entire east coast how to be a Marine, we all learned that shit in recruit training." - Cpl. Watshisnotz"How embarrassing! Does the division commander hold their hand when they cross the street too?" Cpt. O.B. Viose "Do they have to wipe their ass by the numbers too?" Lcpl. HaizmiNeedless to say, as much as the Marines share a brotherhood, they also share in a fair amount of shit talking amongst themselves as well. Obviously, it's all in good fun, but that doesn't mean their west coast brethren will take it easy on them."We didn't have a division commander walk us through Sangin, but these non-rates can't make it through a day without their CG telling them how to act...they oughtta give their balls a tug." - Ssgt. ShorseyEven a Marine from 3rd MARDIV in Okinawa took the opportunity to take a shot from all the way across the Pacific Ocean at the Marines of 2nd MARDIV."The entire population here hates us and we don't even get this kind of Mickey Mouse bullshit." -Sgt. Rhekit