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New Mini Drones Come in Useful During Urinalysis Testing

Active Military
Active Military
February 5, 2019
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Come one, come all, come see the new pocket-sized drones the United States Army is fielding. These little buggers can fit in your pocket and can then take off to new heights to recon or spy on enemy forces in the area. This offers infantry platoons a much greater view and understanding of the battlespace, which is a very important determining factor when it comes to winning battles. However, NCO's aren't just impressed with the nano-drones ability to help them win in combat, no they are excited about another aspect altogether.One NCO from the Army's Research and Development department, Sgt. Ryder Cox had this to say, "Yeah we got to thinkin' if these little guys can hover and spy on the enemy, why can't they be used as the cock watchers during urinalysis testing."Usually, during the pee test, the military uses to determine if its troops are under the influence of illegal drugs a lone man or a group of NCO's are the designated cock watchers. They leer over you and watch you whip out your dangle to piss in a cup. Their job is to ensure that you don't just dump water from a hidden container into the pee cup. They have to literally watch the urine leave your wedding tackle.While it's not really a job anyone wants, there are a few that take their job very seriously, moving uncomfortably close whilst your sex pistol is out in all its glory."It's not that I love lookin' at my troop's womb brooms, I just want to make sure everything is on the up and up," stated Staff Sergeant Richard G. Haze.The Army was very pleased with the new development, initially thinking the acquisition of such technology would be beneficial only on the battlefield, yet now these little buggers can hover right over the soldiers giggle sticks without violating their personal space. An unnamed monitor will watch on a large screen to verify there is no foul play during future urinalysis testing.

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