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Russian Aircraft Overfly Area 51, Don't Tell Us if There Are Aliens

Active Military
Active Military
April 1, 2019
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Late last week Russians flew over Area 51. First off, it's a totally normal thing. It's called the Open Skies Treaty and we do the same shit to Russia on a routine basis where we fly over there territory with a "spy" plane and Russian observers on board to ensure we're complying with the treaty, the same thing happens with us. We sit on their plane as it flies over and looks at our shit. It's not a new thing and they're not going to start WW3 by doing it.We are pissed though, because straight up, these dudes who aren't really super beholden to the United States government and it's secrets, won't tell us if extraterrestrial life exists. What a bunch of assholes. Like...we bet if they had E.T. locked ina daggum basement somewhere and our "spy" plane could tell, we'd be broadcasting it all over the evening news, but noooo. The one time Russia has an opportunity to be a cool guy and what do they do? Keep being a super not cool guy. F***in' Commies.It's not that it's a super big deal, it's just that, look it's 2019 and we've had enough of the conspiracy theory stuff. We want to know if extraterrestrial life exists. We want to know if that's the real reason behind Space Force. We know some super secret cool guy stuff happens at Area 51, but that's not enough. We want to know for real if E.T. is straight tryin' to help us win a 21st-century arms race...and if so, why don't we have laser rifles yet?Either way, don't get freaked out that Russians are flying over Area 51, they're getting monitored...probably why they won't tell us if we have Probus Anus Maximus locked in a basement. Also, we don't know why we gave our extraterrestrial a decidedly Roman name. If he exists, his name is probably just like...the alien equivalent of Hank. Sorry for assuming Hank's gender.

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