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The Most Lance Corporal Song Ever

Active Military
Active Military
September 25, 2018
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It's not the most Marine Corps song ever, but it is most certainly the most Lance Corporal song of all time. There is a good reason for this as Lance Corporals are masters of using their Lance Corporal magic to get out of almost any sort of trouble they get into. It is only once they become Corporals that they actually get into real trouble, and get the ever famed Ninja Punch, which for you Army folk out there would be an Article 15. We call it a Ninja Punch, in regards to it being NJP or Non-Judicial Punishment. That is neither here nor there though as we get set to reveal the song which is the epitome of Lance Corporals, Marine Corps wide.The most lance corporal song is... drum roll please......"It Wasn't Me" by none other than Marine Corps veteran and Lance Corporal himself, Shaggy.Command: "We saw you hazing the shit out of those PFCs behind the connex boxes"Literally any Lance Corporal ever: "It wasn't me"Command: "We have you on TAPE!"Any Lance Corporal Ever: "Naw man, that ain't me, someone stole my blouse."Command: "They called you by name and you said Lance Corporal (insert name) don't play that shit!!"That same Lance Corporal: "Wasn't me sir."Command: "Well if you say so."Truth is often stranger than fiction and we now know where Shaggy got his inspiration for the song. Obviously, his girl caught him cheating which...well let's be honest, we Marines are good looking it's hard to keep all the women off of us, no wonder the girl next door wanted him. And after all, he is only human. But there are other ways to see this play out, other than the two examples you've been given. Take this intrepid young Lance Corporal story for example.Command: Lance Corporal, why did you punch that MP.Different Lance Corporal: Didn't punch an MP sir.Command: We have you on the dash cam and sworn affidavits from both MPs!!Lance Corporal: Wasn't me.Command: They impounded YOUR car, brought you in handcuffs straight from the scene!Lance Corporal: Lance Corporal don't know sir, but it wasn't me.Command: You beat that one half to death with a glow belt!Lance Corporal: Okay maybe it was me, but you can't prove it. There you have it though ladies and gentlemen. If you want to get in the head of a random Lance Corporal from the good old United States Marine Corps, just listen to "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy. After all, who knows us better than ourselves.

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