One Night in Iraq: A Soldier's Tale

So this is kind of a sad and happy story from Iraq. Sad because we were on this mission because this reported supposed rumor milled out Syrian Olympic team shooter had been snipping our dudes. He got one of the coolest, nicest, and most genuine guys in our company. Samuel Tapia. Sam was the type of guy to play all sorts of jokes and pranks on you, but he was also the kind of guy to give you the shirt off of his back. His death hit the entire company really hard. So we went out for vengeance.We left Hurricane Point and made our way to Gov Center where the dismounts left the humvees and foot patroled to a house where this Sniper...we'll call him Asshole One or AHO (because he is...was a hoe), had someone aiding and abetting him while he operated in the Ramadi, Iraq area. So we went to this dudes house, he'll be known as Crybaby Bitch because when we got to his house, and homeboy went into the room with our interrogator and translator, he could not stop crying like the little bitch that he was. When he came out of the room, there wasn't a mark on him. They didn't even kick his ass and he was cryin' like he'd just taken an ass beating prison style.Needless to say, he was totally guilty of helping AHO out and giving him shelter, food, etc... and AHO had killed my friend. So we flexicuffed Crybaby Bitch and tossed him in the back of the highback (it's a humvee that basically where the truck bed would be, is just an armored box with an open top). I was watching him while another Marine provided overwatch.Wouldn't you know it? This asshole, this is the guy I've talked about several times...he starts calling out in Arabic for his boy (or boys) to come make him a martyr and RPG/smoke check all of us in the back of the humvee. Ah, hell to the naw. So I tell him in English and I'm gonna make myself sound way cooler, because I can and I don't remember my exact verbiage but, it was something to the effect of,"Hey f***knuckle, if you don't stfu right meow, I'm going to paint this humvee with brains."He got the hint and we traveled quietly the rest of the way to Camp Ramadi.When we got to Camp Ramadi we went to a super secret high-speed SpecWarfare part of the base. The driver parked the humvee and the back opened up and two giant ass like 6'8'' lookin' Brian Urlacher/Bill Romanowski lookin' bearded dudes each grabbed a side of this dude and launched Crybaby Bitch what seemed at the time like 30 yards away in the air. Crybaby Bitch went flyin'. This is also when I realized that as much as I thought we were some varsity grade BDE body slayers, these guys were obviously pro's. Whoever the hell they were.Anyways a month or two later, we dropped some ordinance on a building and killed the guy we're pretty sure killed Sam. There is a lot of misinformation and propaganda regarding who actually killed Sam and who killed that guy, but I have no problem sleeping at night thinking that we got AHO with a pretty little 500 lb JDAM courtesy of the United States Marine Corps F/A-18 Super Hornet...at least that's what the Lance Criminal underground was saying at the time. F***in' Iraq man. And f*** AHO and his Crybaby Bitch friend.