United States Should Pursue Peace Like the Rest of the World

The United States gets criticized a lot for our...interventionist ways. The international community is always decrying our actions and demanding we be more like them, approach things diplomatically instead of immediately going to violence. We felt it was time that we listened to them and take some of their advice.First, we traveled to the ever peaceful and tolerant Middle East."You know America needs to just stop with all these drone killings, it's entirely unethical and the reason we label them the great Satan," says 'Dave', a former ISIS fighter says emphatically as he straps on his suicide vest. "What we do is none of their business!"Next, we traveled to the jewel of Asia, China for their thoughts.As he paused to catch his breath after beating a man accused of disloyalty to the Communist Party, People's Armed Police Lieutenant 'Steve' let us know his thoughts. "America is always trying to say they're operating within the law, but truth be told, they're actually provoking otherwise peaceful people," He struck the man two more times with his blackjack. "We're just trying to live our lives in peace, now please move, you're standing on the jumper cables I'm about to hook up to this man."Can't forget Europe of course.'Jason' a sergeant in the Russian military occupying Crimea told us that "The U.S. is constantly bullying everyone, the world would be better off without them interfering in everything," right before he and his buddies ransacked the home of a Ukrainian loyalist living in Crimea. "Their policies only hurt people, not help," said 'Jason' breathing heavy as he carried valuables out of the house.On we go to South America and the crowning achievement of civilization that is Venezuela.Right after putting a cigar out and executing a political prisoner 'Nick' told us, "You have these Americans from up north who think they run the world, they do not run the world, I run the world," He lit up another cigar and moved to the next cell. "We're trying to be cool guys here and the United States just comes around sticking their nose in our business, not cool man, not cool."And lastly we go to Africa, Nigeria to be exact."What good has the United States done in the world hmm? Nothing we say. Let us live our lives in peace," says 'Mike', a member of the 'freedom fighting' group Boko Haram as he holds the hand of his 8-year-old child bride. "Just stop waging war and the world will be a better place."