Study: 94% of Veterans Will Argue About Anything

A recent study conducted on social media stated that 94% of Veterans will argue about anything. Literally anything. Perhaps more shocking is the break down of those numbers:

• 87% of Veterans who realize they are wrong will continue to argue their original point to save face.
• 92% of Veterans will argue using facts they did not independently research.
• 78% of Veterans are physically incapable of going more than 3 seconds without disagreeing with someone.

However, the data does not stop there. Veterans arguing are responsible for 16% of all bar fights globally. For example, one Veteran in Chattanooga asked for a glass of water. Another Veteran said they didn't' have glasses, only had cups. Words were exchanged, then punches were thrown, and eyebrows were bitten. It was a whole thing.The study showed there is also a direct link between the length of time served, and eagerness to enter into pointless arguments. These disagreements can range from quick barbs, to full blown rage. Some participants stated it was their patriotic duty to browse the internet and confront opinions they disagree with. Regardless, if it was worth arguing about.The idea that others have thoughts and opinions can trigger a certain part of a Veteran's brain that leads to erratic, condescending, and illogical rambling. Consequently, scientist think it may be a result of boot camp. It being common practice there to put saltpeter in food to reduce "primal urges."The last statistic is arguably the most important. It states that 43% of Veterans reading this article will not realized it is satire, but will still leave an angry comment on social media.Have a good idea for a satire article? Drop them in the comments below!