But Why Though – Bizarre Legal Codes in the United States

The United States is a country built on the rule of law, with thousands of statutes designed to maintain order and protect citizens. However, not all laws are created equally, and some are downright absurd (and we’re not talking about the tax code this time).

No Ice Cream Cones in Your Pocket on Sundays in Lexington, Kentucky

In Lexington, Kentucky, it is illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your pocket on Sundays. Yes, you read that right. You can carry one any other day of the week, but come Sunday, you'd better find another place for your cone than cooling down your bits through your pocket cloth. The origins of this bizarre law are murky, but one theory is that it was originally enacted to prevent horse theft. Allegedly people would lure horses away with ice cream cones hidden in their pockets, making it easier to steal them. Legal code brought to you by Blazing Saddles writers? You could do worse, I guess. To stay on the right side of the law, simply eat your ice cream or hold it in your hand. And if you really need to pocket that cone, maybe therapy is an option?

No Singing Off-Key in North Carolina

In North Carolina, it is technically illegal to sing off-key. This law might be the bane of all karaoke enthusiasts who can’t quite hit those high notes or maintain their rhythm (often these are the people who don’t season their food, but that’s another story). This law likely dates back to a time when public decency and noise ordinances were taken very seriously. While well-intentioned, it’s hard to enforce and even harder to justify in today’s world where freedom of expression (and bad singing) is unfortunately celebrated. Consider taking a few singing lessons, or better yet just enjoy your off-key singing in the privacy of your own shower rather than committing human rights abuses.

No Selling Your Eyes in Texas

Texas is no stranger to absurdity, and so it is illegal to sell your own eyeballs. As if selling any part of your body would ever be a good idea, this law specifically singles out the sale of eyeballs. The reasoning behind this law is tied to the larger framework of laws against selling human organs and tissues. It’s a bit strange that eyes were specifically mentioned, but the intent is clear: keep your body parts to yourself. We’re not sure if this falls in the category of “well safety briefs exist for a reason”, but hopefully this was a rarely needed code. If you’re ever in a situation where you think selling your eyeballs might be a solution, it’s probably time to seek help of a different kind or get right with your bookie.

No Dancing to the National Anthem in Massachusetts

Massachusetts made it against the law to dance to the national anthem. So, if you’re overcome with a sudden urge to bust a move when you hear “The Star-Spangled Banner,” you might want to think twice. This law likely stems from a time when strict decorum and respect for national symbols were heavily enforced. Dancing was seen as disrespectful in such contexts, even if it was meant to be joyous or celebratory... No wonder people from Boston are a little sideways. So, feel free to stand solemnly and sing along, but save your dance moves for another tune. There are plenty of other songs out there that can handle your liberal arts degree in interpretive dance.

No Sleeping in a Cheese Factory in South Dakota

In South Dakota, one cannot sleep in a cheese factory. Yes, this is a real law, although how often it’s enforced is anyone’s guess. The fact that this must have occurred enough to warrant a legal restriction does make us wonder what’s in the water in South Dakota… Or if the cheese is just that good. The rationale behind this law is unclear, but it’s possible it was intended to prevent accidents or contamination in food production facilities. Still, it’s an odd way to ensure safety and hygiene. Unless you have an overwhelming desire to nap among wheels of cheddar and gouda, this should be an easy law to comply with. If you do find yourself drowsy in a cheese factory, you’ve probably making some choices that should be run by your more responsible friends in the future.

These absurd legal codes highlight the quirks and oddities that can arise in legal systems over time. While some of these laws may have had legitimate purposes when they were enacted, they now serve as humorous reminders of how times have changed and sad examples of the legal version of ghosts in the machine. When you find yourself wondering why something is illegal, remember that it can always be worse.