Imagine Our Shock: ISIS Brides Want to Come Home

An American woman and British teenage girl don't really like the ISIS life. Can you picture our shocked face? We are totally and utterly shocked beyond belief...(sarcasm, since we obviously have to say it every single time we use it now), that two women who went to be ISIS brides are not enjoying their life. What...again color us shocked to hear that they'd like to come back home...you know where they aren't beaten within an inch of their life for speaking in the presence of men.Does that sound like some like some 7th-century bullshit or what? Quick poll of our female readers, how many of you think it's empowering for women to be treated as property and not be allowed to speak when the men are talking? You don't like getting passed over for sex in favor of a goat? Again...imagine our shock.Hoda Muthana, the American is from Alabama. Quite a culture shock there, going from Alabama to ISIS-controlled Syria. You will not find any pork rinds there my dear.According to The Guardian Newspaper, she really regrets what she did and is like "OMG totes sorry about that ISIS phase" (not an actual quote, just us making fun of her).We have a lot of sympathy for people in the world. There are hungry, poor oppressed people living in squalid conditions across the globe. Pardon us...or don't for that f***ing matter for not feeling the slightest bit of sympathy for someone that wanted to be a part of one of the more publicly brutal terrorist organizations in the world. If you look up sympathy in the dictionary, you'll find it's between shit and syphilis.It's fine if you come back to America, just know that when you come back, you'll be treated like a terrorist because as an adult, remember this, actions have consequences. Usually, when you join a terrorist organization, the consequences are that you get treated like a terrorist. Gasp! No way right? GTFO.