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Sims Players Have Issues

Veteran News
Veteran News
November 27, 2015
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Sims players have issues

painting goblins

My experience with this game is very little. Hours logged in The Sims is estimated around 3 across all installments. However, hours in Sim City would be much higher (although many many Years ago). That being the case I would probably fit into the group of players that are being highlighted in this article. The death and destruction player. From The Independent:Everyone knows The Sims series isn't about getting a career, a family and a luridly wallpapered house, it's about putting Sims in swimming pools and then taking the ladder away before watching them breaststroke aimlessly to their deaths."The Sims is a life simulation," the game would remind you disapprovingly, when the death toll in your household approached genocide levels. But death is a part of life, as, unfortunately, are slapstick injuries involving hot tubs, hired clowns and lutes.

1. Painting Goblin "Every time I play The Sims, I start my family with a painting goblin. I make him/her morbidly obese with green skin. I make sure to give him the following traits: likes to be alone, likes art, hates the outdoors."The first thing I do, once I have enough money, is build a small room in the basement, send him down there, and then remove the stairs. I set him up in a tiny little area with only an easel, a toilet, a refrigerator, a bed, a shower, and a trash bin."All he does all day is paint. That' s it. He paints and paints and paints and paints."Eventually his paintings become very good and worth a lot of money. Every few minutes I go downstairs and sell whatever painting he has finished, and then I return to playing the game. My family always ends up feeling blessed because of their fortune, and they never find out about the horrible secret living beneath their home."

While nowhere near the worst this one may even go into the win section. Most gamers know that upon starting a game, anything that will bring in money for upgrades is a good thing, (even if it involves painting goblins).

2. Dating Death "I recently found out you can kill old Sims by overexertion in The Sims 4. My Sim is going around town f*cking all the old people to death and once Death shows up she proceeds to make friends with him. I'm counting up graves until my Sim can bang Death.""I managed to get a 'heat of the moment' kiss in on him after a few 'accidental' deaths. I took a picture of it…"

[caption id="attachment_3240" align="aligncenter" width="300"]


(Picture: NinjaDude5186/EA)[/caption]

3. Simple but elegant"One time I killed a Sim by drowning. Then I made everyone show up to his funeral in swimwear."4. Disproportionate punishment "My teenage son decide waking up to his alarm and getting on the school bus was unimportant, so I locked him in a 1x1 room until he peed himself and died in the puddle."

Finally, if one painting goblin is good, 10 must be even better!

5. Painting Goblin 2.0 "My prison filled with slave-artists was pretty grim. Everyone got a single cell, bed, toilet, sink, artist easel. There was a warden that lived above them on the ground level (all the cells are underground of course), who cooked for them, but they could only eat if they were turning out sellable art."Most of them went insane and died."[caption id="attachment_3244" align="aligncenter" width="300"]
sims screenplay
Works with screenplays and books as well[/caption]

See the full list from The Independent.I hope to one have enough time to do all these things and more in gamer land. Until then, what games do you play and to what level of depravity have you gone?[mwi-cat-listing cat="94" ppp="4" cols="4" desc="false" type="view" btn_color="black" ]

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