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Possible Careers for Mattis a.k.a. "Chaos Actual"

Active Military
Active Military
January 3, 2019
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Well. The resignation came and went and luckily China nor Russia took it as an opportune time to launch all of their ballistic missiles at us. Chaos Actual's farewell speech was as always the epitome of class from a well-read and refined warrior. Was he wrong? Was he right? Only time will tell but the beloved Patron Saint of Chaos has moved on...and that is the purpose of this article. What is Chaos going to do next?There are a multitude of careers for a man of his pedigree and while we're not 100% certain as to where he'll land as we don't have the sources at the Pentagon that many other news outlets do, we're going to guess. Why? Because it's our world and we can...and also you know...the lack of sources at the Pentagon.

  1. The Grim ReaperThere is an old adage that Father Time will be the eternal victor in the lives of all mankind. No matter how well we take care of ourselves, the day will come when our organs will quit working and we will pass from this realm. The same is true for the Grim Reaper, he just isn't killing folks like he did back in the day with plagues and famine and war. Time for a new Reaper. Chaos Actual would be a great fit as Chaos is his game and his name. Death, on the large scale, has always been chaotic and we can't think of anyone better to take those chaotic reigns.
  2. WarlordAlbert Einstein stated that he's not sure what weapons World War 3 will be fought with, but World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones. If that day were to come, where we must fight with sticks and stones, we think Mattis would be a great Warlord, maybe even a new founding father.
  3. VigilanteThere isn't much we'd like to see aside from Chaos Actual donning a really cool symbol and going hard in the paint on some shitbag criminals. Remember, he doesn't have worry or stress, he causes it. Much like Batman, only way better, because Mattis is real and Batman is not.

Those are the top three career choices for a man with that much experience and renown. Will he go those routes? We're not sure. He may just ride off into the sunset or become one with the Force like Luke, Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Qui-Gon. Whatever he does we wish him fair winds and following seas.

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